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Instinctive Drowning

by RED PILL

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about

"Red Pill's latest carries some of his best production yet" - Pitchfork

"Red Pill makes some emotionally brutal rap music. Guarantee you'll f*** with it." - XXL

"The cover photo is a picture of my great grandmother, Mabel. She, like my own mother, died young after years of struggling with her demons. This album is dedicated to my mother, Jody, and my great grandmother." - Red Pill

Consider yourself lucky if you can’t empathize with Red Pill. No one
channels bleakness better than the blue-collar Michigan MC, whose
sophomore solo LP for Mello Music Group, "Instinctive Drowning" plays out like the ghost of Bukowski on a snarling bender. His songs are lifelines for the doomed, death letters written for fatigued skeptics,
the anthems of an existence precariously balanced among a fifth of gin and a loaded .38 revolver aimed at the temple.

The album title doesn’t come from some glib “sad boy” gimmick—it’s an allusion to his unstinting depression and chronic alcoholism. The
saddest stories are usually the most honest and almost no one is more honest than Red Pill. His music is his own atheist confession booth. "Instinctive Drowning" unravels as a litany of fear and loathing:
rooted in the worry that his afflictions are genetic. Many others in his close family have suffered their own battles as well. Pill’s own mother passed at 45 from alcohol-related issues. If he ends up next, the album might as well serve as his requiem.

There is “The New Normal,” which chronicles his bout with viral
meningitis, a disease practically alien to those in their late 20s,
save for those whose livers are already ravaged. After two weeks of
vomiting and vows to quit drinking, Pill finally recovered and went to
the liquor store. “Club Privilege” is a club song for people who would
sooner kill themselves than go to the club. It doubles as examination
of white privilege, where Pill acknowledges the absurdity of his
self-pity, while starting brawls and screaming at bouncers.

There is “Fuck Your Ambition.” It is what it sounds like: a rejection
of white-picket fence ideals that never really existed. It lampoons
the Horatio Alger myths, the lies about self-sufficiency and the way
Capitalism has created a slovenly class of consumers. It could come
off as self-righteous, but Red Pill is never above the fray. He’s the
condemned marching alongside us, suffering for our sins, chewing on
stale pizza crust.

Virtuosic Ohio native, Ill Poetic, handled production. The co-owner of
San Diego’s Beat Box Records ceaselessly trawled his own bins,
sampling forgotten art-punk 45s to foreign psych-funk. From there, he
enlisted his Ohio band and a a wide range of musicians and
singers to add their seasoning. The music is equally comforting and
unsettling, eerie and familiar, offering the ideal contrast with
Pill’s lyrics—creating something with soulful depth but raw grit.

Of course, there is a paradox at the heart of this record. For an
album that courts death so closely, it manages to be oddly
life-affirming. Maybe Pill is an optimist after all. There is the
still the slight hope that he can escape, the notion that by writing
these songs he can somehow heal himself and help others. He still
probably will drown, but for now, few can float this well.

credits

released August 26, 2016

VOCALS BY RED PILL
ALBUM PRODUCED BY ILL POETIC

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Track Name: The New Normal
And everything was different then / After the hospital I told myself I had the chance to live again/ I'm gonna change this shit/I'm gonna kill the part of my brain where the pain exists/You know that part of me that had me left for dead/On a hospital bed knowing the infection spread/Because of self-medication/It couldn't help me then/But the beginning of my story helps to tell its end/I couldn't figure how to start this/I hate that typical introductory rap song/Factory wrapped in its over-produced cartilage/I want that bone marrow, there's no buffer between us now/I've been heartsick/So consider this catharsis/I moved out of that apartment/But took its baggage with me, now something's damaged in me/And it's been digging deeper, a sickness/Give the reaper a kiss and lick the litmus/The gatekeeper went missing, MIA on a Sunday/My demeanor is death/It's either that or forgiveness, don't forget this/The equilibrium switched, the new normal is hopeless/I've been swimming in it but no one noticed/So I don't need your prognosis CHORUS The equilibrium switched, the new normal is hopeless/I've been swimming in it, but no one noticed/So stop looking for signs and stop looking for motives/You stare at the stars, you're losing focus/The equilibrium switched, the new normal is hopeless/I've been swimming in it, but no one noticed/The new normal is hopeless/The new normal is hopeless VERSE And everything was different then/The possibility of my life being taken but it didn't end/Seeing life through a different lens/I told myself that I would never lose my grip but then I slipped again/Looking at the stars from under the surface/Drowning out the noise of the world's circus/The paranoia's getting real/So don't you tell me how to fucking feel/People think I'm such a popular dude/Like, you toured the world making positive moves/You should be happy, have some confidence too/Keep trying to make a point that they're not gonna prove/And I feel overwhelming guilt from it/I know I should be happy and I know I should be proud/And I hate the fact that I feel nothing/And even if it's wrong, I'd do anything to feel something/So I don't know if I'll make it the next forty odd minutes/But if I don't, fucking forget it/I'm feeling heavy as lead/There's poison in the water and a bullet in my head CHORUS The equilibrium switched, the new normal is hopeless/I've been swimming in it, but no one noticed/So stop looking for signs and stop looking for motives/You stare at the stars, you're losing focus/The equilibrium switched, the new normal is hopeless/I've been swimming in it, but no one noticed/The new normal is hopeless
Track Name: Four Part Cure
VERSE Be careful of the gods you worship/They portray the world as perfect, but that's not how Earth is/And science says there's many universes/And religious verses tell us God controls this version/So if there's other universes and we're not alone/Maybe there's other gods and they got their own/Maybe they go to bars together hanging out/And find things about their universe to brag about/Like, my universe is fourteen billion years old/It's got a planet in it full of superheroes/And I designed it all myself and they enjoy it/It's amazing that these motherfuckers still haven't destroyed it/And then the gods get on their Facebook/And they neglect to show the negative and only celebrate the good/They pick and choose the better parts of their creation/And only post about us when their ego needs inflation Do Not Fear Death VERSE And I don't have a killer instinct/Only killing I'm doing is when I'm filling this drink/Only feeling I'm feeling is sipping Victory Gin/So I give up and let familial history win/Rather my body's destruction than letting misery in/If it means feeling numb, then God deliver me sin/I don't wanna die young, but I don't know to quit/Some people turn to the Son to know to live/Some people turn to a gun and know when to quit/Some people vanish and run where no one exists/I know some overcome, take control of their shit/But the older I get, the more I succumb /I start to wonder why we're all so obsessed /With a life we're not positive even happens at death/The more I grow it's easier to accept/ That we have no control over what happens next What is Painful is Easy to Endure VERSE The irony of my life will be how long it lasts/And fame can make a signature an autograph/Power turns a peasant to an autograph/A check beside your name determines follow backs/It's the little things in life that drive you up a wall and back/While you ignore the bigger problems and it all goes bad/Cuz pain is either chronic or its brief, mild or intense/And rarely ever in between/The subtle differences amount to context/Cuz people talk about their pain like it's a contest/Never let them shame the way you feel/Only you can tell you if the pain you feel is real/Now let me break character for a second/Go to Camera 2 and stare directly into you/The problems in your mind can be a strength/And I've never solved a single one of mine because I drank What is Good is Easy to Get VERSE Growing up there wasn't money in the house/And Mom had thirty liquor bottles underneath the couch/Sometimes I had to shower heating water on the stove/And went to school with dirty fucking clothes/And Mom was never ever happy/She went to rehab and we went to latchkey /I know I use my music to complain/As a straight white male with straight white male pain/A decent life is easy to attain/When the color of my skin can win in a rigged game/So if you grew up poor and white/Recognizing privilege doesn't take away your plight/But, imagine walking in a club/And your skin color had people calling you thug/For the music that you like or the liquor that you sip/For me, the good life is easier to get
Track Name: Club Privilege
VERSE Walk in the club like I own it/That looks pretty cool, don't it?/I did not get the pat down/Pants sagging, hats to the back now/They say pimping ain't easy/But I'm fly like G-Eazy/Bitch got me all fucked up/Fuck a bar line, I take cuts/Tell the bartender my turn/Looking like Audrey Hepburn /I'm feeling like Frank Sinatra/Two shots of your best vodka/One for me and one for you/They complaining the waits long/I look back like "oh poor you"/'m the shit, is that so wrong? CHORUS I wear the clothes that I want/ drink the booze that I want/In this club/I play the songs that I want/I get whatever I want VERSE Don't you ask for my ID/I don't need no fucking ID/Matter of fact I'm VIP/You can't fuck with the white tee/And you can't fuck with my Nikes /I give a fuck if you like me/I talk shit and I like fights/Freedom of speech, bitch, it's my right/Push my way up to the front/Don't you tell me I'm too drunk/Go on and pour me up two more/Fuck are they waiting on you for?/I deserve the good service/And that service better perfect/They treat me better than you 'cuz.../Well I'm better than you, bruh CHORUS I wear the clothes /That I want/I drink the booze that I want/In this club/I play the songs that I want/I get whatever I want BRIDGE (Marsha Mann:) Why don't I pour you a drink?/You look tired/And life is so unfair/ (Red Pill:) I don't need no fucking ID/I don't need no fucking ID/Matter of fact I'm VIP/Matter of fact I'm VIP/I don't need no fucking ID/I don't need no fucking ID/Matter of fact I'm VIP/My skin tone match my white tee CHORUS I wear the clothes /That I want/I drink the booze that I want/In this club/I play the songs that I want/I get whatever I want BRIDGE I get whatever I want/I dress however I want/I go wherever I want/I live whenever I want BRIDGE (Marsha Mann:) Why don't I pour you a drink?/You look tired/And life is so unfair.
Track Name: Stars
VERSE
So what's a Capricorn to do about this world that he was born into?/Still feel like I got more to prove/Should I have a couple kids/go to work all day/then pour a double gin/be only worth my pay?/'Cuz I'm broke and barely famous/partying with people that don't know what my name is/but they wanna buy my shots/and I'm like why not?/Cuz I can't afford them anyways/Now I'm traveling the world/with some people I looked up to when I really was a no one/And I just wanna see my girl/but she's alone at home and I could really use a cold one/I still don't feel in place/I'm the weird guy at the party sitting awkward in the corner/and they can see it on my face/so let me slide up outta here and hit the bar to place my order

CHORUS
I find myself in situations/that make me feel I'm almost famous/They want my smile but I can't fake it/like here we are now entertain us/I played shows on sixty stages/then I came home and can't make payments/They want my smile but I can't fake it/like here we are now entertain us/And all I see is stars, in everybody else/And all I see is stars, in everybody but myself

VERSE
Cuz look, this little Capricorn has always been inadequate/you can go ahead and laugh at it/I was the new kid at my middle school/awkward and afraid of all the roles I'm trying to fit into/And nothing's really changed/In fact it's getting worse I feel it digging even deeper/I always felt strange/Missing school because I'm anxious lying to my teachers/Depression is a bitch/Hated everyone around me cuz they always seemed perfect/And I was just a little kid/Now I'm on my way to thirty and I still feel worthless

CHORUS
I find myself in situations/that make me feel I'm almost famous/They want my smile but I can't fake it/like here we are now entertain us/I played shows on sixty stages/then I came home and can't make payments/They want my smile but I can't fake it/like here we are now entertain us/And all I see is stars, in everybody else/And all I see is stars, in everybody but myself
Track Name: Your Ambition (feat. P.O.S)
INTRO The way they measure winners makes me wanna be a loser/so I hang with all the sinners love the beggar not the chooser VERSE So the cancer comes back/can't stop the bloodbath with thumbtacks/can't overcome that/And they work so hard so they go so far/but so far who's really done that?/I think about ambition/Does the horse draw the carriage/or the hanging of the carrot?/Cuz this world is something else/They expect me to love their wealth/But I still can't love myself/So find another lie to tell/These fairytales about millionaires/came from nothing/wing and a prayer/make us love it/but we're okay/Still we gotta hear them say BRIDGE Everything that I got/Yeah I got that on my own/See that money, see that car/See that castle I call home/See that yacht/See that job/Yeah I did that on my own/Everything that I got/B--- I got that on my own PRECHORUS The way they measure winners makes me wanna be a loser/so I hang with all the sinners/love the beggar not the chooser/Addicted to computers/Generation Consumer/You'll see it later than sooner/Treat symptoms instead of tumors CHORUS So --- Your Ambition/We don't love your ambition/I'm in love with my failures/I'm in love with my misses/Cuz everything you are is everything that makes you weak/I'm not reaching for the stars/I got my hands up in defeat/---- Your Ambition x4 P.O.S VERSE yeah! dead in the doorway/home from the grind/heavy heart and a headache/shoes off flick on someone else's/life like it's yours/wanting more feeling selfish/--- yeah, the clock ticks ridic/that uphill pitch is about as real as it gets/so go, come on, skedaddle/navigating a lake of fire with papier-mâché paddles/and weak hands, scared hearts make ---- scared plans/there's no chance and no comparison/just cherishing the little bit of air I get/get it in/fill lungs, move, own footprints/yeah trying to fill my own damn shoes/I don't see 'em if they purchase their personality, worthless/judging by the gift that they cursed with PRECHORUS The way they measure winners makes me wanna be a loser/so I hang with all the sinners/love the beggar not the chooser/Addicted to computers/Generation Consumer/You'll see it later than sooner/Treat symptoms instead of tumors BRIDGE Everything that I got/Yeah I got that on my own/See that money, see that car/See that castle I call home/See that yacht/See that job/Yeah I did that on my own/Everything that I got/---- I got that on my own CHORUS So ---- Your Ambition/We don't love your ambition/I'm in love with my failures/I'm in love with my misses/Cuz everything you are is everything that makes you weak/I'm not reaching for the stars/I got my hands up in defeat/---- Your Ambition
Track Name: Gin & Tonic
INTRO And she said would it be alright/if I got a Rum & Coke/I said baby for tonight let's pretend that we're not broke/sick of living in tomorrow/should be living in the here/she whispered something in my ear and said VERSE I don't see what the big deal is/rum & cokes aren't that expensive/plus I'm paying for the drinks/and we've been living codependent/we haven't left that couch in seven months/made a date with divinity but she wouldn't make me lunch/I was in Boise on a Tuesday when I really saw the future/and I realized at that moment I had always been a loser/Look what the world did?/Fuck it, look what I've done to me/All I do is drink and eat/Lay around and fucking sleep/But hey, that's okay/not sure I'll see another day/It's like, that's alright/there's probably not another life/So I use that immaturity to cloud my insecurities/And walk around pretending I' m not afraid of uncertainty/My actions tell me I don't wanna be alive/But really I'm a little kid who's still afraid to die CHORUS All I want is to be happy in this life I got/And Lord I try but I don't truly know if I can stop/If I would die for them/then I should live for them/If I would die for them/Then I should live VERSE I used to stay up late at night/thinking about my songs/Now I fall asleep early from drinking all day long/I used to hate the feeling of a Friday night alone/Now I'm too embarrassed of the person I have grown/This song's the only person that I'll tell/Cuz there ain't no going back once you tell them you need some help/I spent every dollar that could be spent/Now I just wonder where the good me went/So be good to one another/Tell my girl I love her/Find a little peace in knowing that I didn't suffer/This world is full of beauty/This world is for the lovers/Remind of the feeling of a childhood summer/Remind me of the time before when all I did was wonder/The world was still a mystery to me to be discovered/Because I don't wanna die, Lord I wanna die/No I don't wanna die CHORUS All I want is to be happy in this life I got/And Lord I try but I don't truly know if I can stop/If I would die for them/then I should live for them/If I would die for them/Then I should live BRIDGE It goes one shot of Seagram's Gin/Two parts of Diet Tonic/Three's not a lucky charm/Four times I've tried to stop it/Fifth's step's the hardest/Cuz six is a lie/When seven days a week you're feeling like you wanna die/There's eight people that I love/Nine times I've made amends/Ten years ago I never thought this'd be the way it ends/Eleven times for rest/And twelve for the month that I climbed into this mess CHORUS All I want is to be happy in this life I got/And Lord I try but I don't truly know if I can stop/If I would die for them/then I should live for them/If I would die for them/Then I should live OUTRO I just want Kath to be happy. I just want Dad to be happy. I want my brothers to be happy. I want my friends to be happy. My generation to be happy. For Mello to be happy. Ill Poetic and Charlie to be happy.
Track Name: Instinctive Drowning
CHORUS You are what you know know/the problems sink deep to the bottom of your soul/And the world doesn't know/you're lost in the undertow/And those waves come strong/swallowing the water/you can't say what's wrong/The surface looks calm/So the rest of them carry on x2 VERSE I remember when the ambulance came/she was unresponsive/Dad was screaming her name/He tried to give her mouth to mouth/Nothing but green fluid she was coughing out/And fucked up thing is we had been there before/I was scared the paramedics had her laid on the floor/They cut her shirt off/And had her chest bare/With his hand over her left breast/and then compressed there/Nothing/They put her in the ambulance and took off/none of us could talk/I think we felt it/we had known for years that she was helpless/But you can't ever prepare for it/even with the shit she had been through/this was rare for her/they airlifted her to the hospital/she had pulled through before so it was possible/the doctor told us that her brain was dead/seven minutes without oxygen the way it ends/call the priest and have him pray again/maybe God will save her then/almost thirty years of alcohol abuse/she died on April 16th/nobody put her in the news/Her name was Jody Ann/I felt the coldness of her body at the funeral the last time I would hold her hand CHORUS You are what you know know/the problems sink deep to the bottom of your soul/And the world doesn't know/you're lost in the undertow/And those waves come strong/swallowing the water/you can't say what's wrong/The surface looks calm/So the rest of them carry on x2 VERSE You think that I don't see the warning signs/death by the bottle/I'm immortalized/On every corner there's a trigger for me/A big neon sign saying there's liquor pouring/A big neon sign just to remind me of it/A big neon sign saying my time is coming/Just shy of the age of when her liver failed/most of my money been spent on liquor sales/and you can talk about the reasons/you can chalk it up to talking to my demons/maybe it's something gone undiagnosed/ maybe I'm scared of suicide so I'm dying slow/Yeah - Mr. Slow Suicide/with his big fucking heart and regret is in his eyes/It's only medicine/It's only something to feel better when my head is in/a fucking tailspin and I hate myself/When I'm overwhelmed with life/and I can't save myself/Went from a little to a fifth a day/I just wanna go back/How did it get this way?/I just wanna go back how did it get this way?/And what would Kath do without me?/ What would Dad do without me?/look what I would leave behind/But I feel like I'm losing my mind/I'm a loser/I sing the blues/I'm not doing too fine/The other night I had a dream/I'm in a car without a driver, in the passenger seat/and right behind me was my mother and a child/and I smiled/She hadn't come to see me in awhile/The thing about dreams is nothing is odd/We were flying down the Lodge/I was thinking about God/The mood started to change/Looked back and my mother slowly turned to remains/The baby was gone and I looked to my right/Out the window and they had taken the good in my life/And like a movie/A car had pulled up next to me/Couldn't tell who it was driving the hooptie/He pulled up ahead and pulled out a gun/I tried yelling/but my words wouldn't come/He points it at me then I hear from the sky/I'm gonna make you famous/I'm gonna make you famous/I'm gonna make you famous/I'm gonna make you famous/I'm gonna make you famous/I'm gonna make you famous/And then came the.
Track Name: When The Devil Knocks
VERSE There ain't no Lord here, Dear Lord/Nobody watching or protecting/what you fear for/There's nothing moral about humans/disillusioned, living in ruins/most unsacred of unions/the Devil speaks fluent in influence/God's students lost/busy disproving Newton/Must be thinking is he this fucking stupid?/I'm a shoe-in for Heaven's Gates/My dues been accruing/You sitting in that waiting room stewing/Sweat dripping, anxious/Tie getting loosened/Knowing that you judgment is pursuant/to the life that you lived/dirty shit that you been doing/You tried to make your soul translucent/ excuses taking the place of improvements/Your prayers been muted/You soul been wounded/That high horse you rode in on/Is fucking useless/ CHORUS When the devil comes knocking/you don't got a lot of options/body and soul rotten/God's forgotten, misbegotten/downtrodden/but he ain't watching x2 BRIDGE Do not fear God/Do not fear death/What is painful is easy to endure/What is good is easy to get/So when God invites me up to have my interview/and tells me that my résumé reminds him of the sin in you/I'll remind her that you tried your best to do what's best/without a second thought or consideration of what's next/and that you never told her children you were better for it/and that you asked if I could pass along a message for him/that if the God above is real and I was left below/That's not the kind of God I want and you should let me go/ VERSE So Hello Mr. Self Righteous/Bury your pride beneath the shadow of the Cyprus/I can see it in your iris/you're lifeless/You might just/pick and leave to fight ISIS/The Middle East, there isn't peace for those sightless/Those people need your beliefs/spiritual crisis/You can enlighten them from underneath the Ficus /but really if they'd just remain tight-lipped/you might give/Some rationality/Some democracy/Western Culture the foundation of your Whiteness/But it's not a matter of wrong or right it's/a matter of these divine rights bitch/But man, fuck it/Go on your crusade/Put your woman in place, make fun of somebody who's gay/nobodies racist on Kill-A-Black-Tuesday/and it's cool to say the n-word when you rap along with 2 Chainz/But before you go all Liu Kang on Hussein's/You gotta tell 'em you're a Christian, and you pray/But goddamnit, today is a new day/and freedom tastes like gunpowder/pass the Crest toothpaste CHORUS When the devil comes knocking/you don't got a lot of options/body and soul rotten/God's forgotten, misbegotten/downtrodden/but he ain't watching BRIDGE Do not fear God/Do not fear death/What is painful is easy to endure/What is good is easy to get/So when God invites me up to have my interview/and tells me that my résumé reminds him of the sin in you/I'll remind her that you tried your best to do what's best/without a second thought or consideration of what's next/and that you never told her children you were better for it/and that you asked if I could pass along a message for him/that if the God above is real and I was left below/That's not the kind of God I want.
Track Name: All Along The Shore
VERSE I vaguely remember when the winter broke/Like waking up from a coma to shades of indigo/the ultraviolet in the light became unbearable/the ultraviolence of my life became my parable/the self-destruction burned a fire through my flesh/the craving like an infantile desire for the breast/elixir set upon the wires in my head/that told me only those that get admired are the dead/and my obsession was fanatical/I couldn't entertain suggestions of sabbatical/to play the part I had to make the measures radical/no virtuosity to calm the inner animal/and social scientists will say that I'm irrational/self-preservation is to be a bit theatrical/because everyone is terminal/and the universe will never take you personal CHORUS And at the very least he found some peace/while the world was busy counting sheep/The night became dawn/And he never awoke but his demons were gone VERSE I vaguely remember when the summer came/Like waking up from a coma to have another name/To feel reborn and find your happiness restored/And realizing now that you will never find reward/The only proof of your existence in this life/Is to pass along a star and view the absence of its light/You're nothing more than a shadow to be observed/an astronomer who witnesses the dip upon the Earth/I'm a measurement on instruments/An insignificant coincidence/But somehow that is magnificent/And darling that's the core of our predicament/You find yourself an unwilling participant/I see no reason we should rectify our differences/existing wasn't meant as false imprisonment/enjoy the cognitive dissonance CHORUS And at the very least he found some peace/while the world was busy counting sheep/The night became dawn/And he never awoke but his demons were gone OUTRO Gone till November/Gone till November/The devil tried to kill me now I'm gone for forever/All along the shore they screamed out no surrender/If we're gonna die then we all die together x2/ I saw you standing there/Saltwater in your hair/Sunglasses hide your eyes/We all know what's inside/You don't know my name/But I know your blood/All Along the Shore/They Watched It.
Track Name: Jeffrey Star
CHORUS Let's go drive to the park/Let's sneak in after dark/Let's get drunk in my car/Then let's stare at the stars VERSE There really isn't much left to do/except to stay inside and make a mess with you/I wasn't gonna drink tonight/But we can start a fire and watch the heavens move/Till I start a fight that's best to lose/I probably won't change so let's assume/I took two shots when you left the room/Now both you and me got exit wounds/Cuz I can't go anywhere/Without you, that's not fair/I don't know why you love me/I'm broke drunk and ugly/It's probably best not to question it/And neither of us know where heaven is/And this world wasn't meant for me or you/I know you wanna leave it too CHORUS Let's go drive to the park/Let's sneak in after dark/Let's get drunk in my car/Then let's stare at the stars x2 VERSE You got a smile I can't leave behind/So let's a make a world that we design/It's 10PM on a Tuesday night/When we pick songs drunk we usually fight/So we can order second dinner/Or we can do to the park and watch the heavens glimmer/Send the world our best regards/And take a little trip to the Jeffrey Star/It's only us, that might sound/lonely but, look around/It's the fucking best/Leave this world it's a fucking mess/So let's get a pint of rum/Sip that quick, find another one/Look around for another Sun/While I figure out what the fuck I've done. CHORUS Let's go drive to the park/Let's sneak in after dark/Let's get drunk in my car/Then let's stare at the stars